In spite of some questions and debate about it, marriage is still a huge driver in our civilization. People in large numbers keep getting married. In Pigeon Forge, it is a multi-million dollar industry. This is because God created marriage. It is something that God has established as a blessing for this world. It is rooted in the world that He created. But marriage also has a higher purpose.
In Psalm 45, we have the story of a marriage. It speaks of the groom in this way: “You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever” (Psalm 45:2). Then, it calls on the bride, “Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord” (Ps. 45:10–11). In order to understand this passage, we need to know who this king is. This king is none other than the eternal Son of God. “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom” (Ps. 45:6). This is confirmed by Hebrews 1 which cites this passage and applies it to the Son of God. The spouse is humanity restored and cleansed from her sin, the church of Jesus Christ. This opens our eyes to several important truths about marriage.
1. Marriage is first and foremost a pointer to Christ and His Church. The goal of marriage is not the marriage but the glory of God. We cannot make marriage the end of our lives. Glorifying Christ is always first.
2. Marriage is glorious, but this glory tempts us to make marriage more than it is. Marriage is a beautiful and wondrous thing. It can be the best of human relationships in many ways. That’s why the Psalmist can describe it in such a noble way. However, this very glory can make it tempting for us to think that it solves all our problems of loneliness, security, and meaning. This is one of the most common mistakes of marriage. We take a good thing and exalt it beyond measure. That’s the root of a lot of the bitterest fights in marriage.
3. Marriage is a priority. This passage reminds us that marriage is about a new home. The relationship with Christ and His Church becomes the priority over all other relationships. So, marriage has a priority over our relationships with our parents, our friends, and our children. Now, we need those relationships, too, but marriage always needs to have a priority. That’s why our text says with some hyperbole: “Forget your people and your father’s house” (Ps. 45:11).
4. We have a new family. If we are part of the church, we have a new family. It’s easy to let our activities center around our biological family. It’s easy to become tribal. We must be open to the church. This means the bride of Christ in general as the family of God and not just our local church. Local churches can become just as tribal as families. Our new family means that we have an openness to the family of God. It’s our new family.
5. We have a husband and a marriage. Sometimes people really want to be married and for various reasons can’t be. People in that situation should remember, “Your maker is your husband.” They may not have the earthly copy of marriage but they have the heavenly original of marriage. As often as they struggle, they should go back to this truth.
Christ transforms marriage. The perspective of the world is that marriage or a two person love relationship is the be all and end all. This is one reason why these relationships often end so badly. They are not made to function that way. The world is about God Himself, and marriage is one of His gifts. When we realize that, we can accept marriage for what it is, a tremendous blessing from our Lord that points us back to His eternal goodness.
